Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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