my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
she peed on how many people?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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