Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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