if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
