Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
