Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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