new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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