At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
please come you make the beer taste better
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
i black out too much to be "responsible"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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