There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
