you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
