My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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