weddingsv make me drug and hornr
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
