Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I think i got beer on your cat.
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