My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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