Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
is wine microwaveable?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
