The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
