You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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