We won't sleep together?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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