we have officially lost it.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
we're so committed to being not committed
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize