Jerry, you need to find god
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
