Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
