do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
