I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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