On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
