It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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