You just made me feel so damn special
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
