Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
