dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
