There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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