Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
