sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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