Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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