that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
