in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
