You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i think my mom watched the whole time
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
