I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
