He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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