Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
