Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
