Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
