If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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