that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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