Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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