six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
