It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize