You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
