Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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