At least make sure they are 18
Why
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize