Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
