dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
