hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
