So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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