And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
