3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
