You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
operation have a gay friend backfired
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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