hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
