Please, let me fuck your mom
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Randomize
