Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i wish my penis had a tongue
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
