Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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