After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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