Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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