That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
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