You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
