dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
