Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
