ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize