so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
